Trea Turner on torpedo bat hysteria:
Trea Turner on torpedo bats: “I don’t really care. I feel like everyone’s blowing this out of proportion.”
(Via @TimKellySports) pic.twitter.com/AmkjUvwjNZ
— On Pattison (@OnPattison) April 2, 2025
Blown out of proportion, but not blown out of the water, right? Almost had a great submarine line there. Has anyone done a joke based on The Hunt for Red October yet? There has to be a way to work the torpedo bats into a double entendre involving Phillies playoff baseball and Sean Connery’s mostly-invisible Russian U-boat. How about this one? – the Phillies torpedoed their playoff chances by swinging at a bunch of garbage low and outside.
If you’ve never seen it, THFRO is a great movie. It’s a Cold War spy thriller also featuring a young Alec Baldwin, Sam Neill, Scott Glenn, and James Earl Jones. Is a nuclear strike imminent? Is Connery a traitor? Is there a secret saboteur on the ship? You’ll have to watch it and find out! Wouldn’t want to spoil the plot.
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