There’s Always One Woman Yelling “Stop” While Fans Brawl in the Stands

We had a fight during the Commies game Sunday and to be honest I’m still trying to figure out who is on whose side of it. The fight was alright. It was a perfect encapsulation of the game though. Not much action, a lot of missed opportunities to put the other away, started to heat up at the end, and finished with the Cowboys snatching a victory:

Commie and Cowboys fans were slugging it out for the NFC East cellar on and off the field

(fb/Blizzy Young) pic.twitter.com/2sqTYLXXDc

— Crossing Broad (@CrossingBroad) November 25, 2024

Easily the most entertaining part was the collection of jerseys. LaRon Landry, Santana Moss, Taylor Heinecke, and a guess of either #26 Clinton Portis or Adrian Peterson. What a who’s who!

The worst part? Easy. The white woman yelling “STOP” during a fight. Why do white women love yelling “STOP!” during fights? It adds absolutely nothing and takes away from the entertainment. Like listening to a broadcast with Jason Witten on it. The “STOP!” has a hold over these ladies like Hallmark Christmas movies and Live. Laugh. Love. signs on some stained driftwood. You know how they make you watch those on the job trainings when you first start a new job asking you situational questions? They should do that for white women before they’re allowed to attend an NFL game. Put ’em in a windowless room, put in a tape of fight in the stands, and and if their first reaction is to shout “STOP!” they’re barred for life. Sorry. It’s for the best. Get in there and throw a couple cheap shots like a 49ers fan or stay out of the way.

Also, does Josh Harris employ security? There wasn’t a single one who showed up in the minute-plus. That’s a lifetime in the arena for a couple gladiators. The closest thing we had was this guy straight out of Secret Service central casting doing absolutely nothing:

You know what’s worse than someone wearing a jersey of a team that’s not playing in the game? Showing up looking like DB Cooper in your fleece-lined corduroy jacket.

Hope everyone is recovering alright today. Nothing like a couple black eyes for Thanksgiving. Talk about a conversation starter.

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