Did Got Drunk, Got High, Got Tased Guy Just Lose This Early in the Phillies Season?

Taking a timeout from Rhys Hoskins waxing the Mets to come to you with breaking news. Got Drunk, Got High, Got Tased guy might’ve just met his match. This is the closest I’ve ever seen someone come to beating him:

WE HAVE A TIE!!! pic.twitter.com/f83lTuilyg

— Luke Arcaini (@ArcainiLuke) March 30, 2024

I refuse to call this a tie. There are no ties in life. This is America. I’d rather be under British rule than have the Revolutionary War end in a stalemate. If it’s a win it’s business as usual. If it’s a loss we’ll dust ourselves off and think how we can get 1% better tomorrow.

Maybe he’s getting old or maybe he didn’t have time to warm up yet or maybe he’s hungover from Opening Day after dusting everyone in his sight:

 

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The rematch of the century @CBKylePagan @klo0318 pic.twitter.com/cnu9jFsxfX

— SlippinBenny (@SlippinBenny) March 29, 2024

We can ask all the questions until we’re blue in the face. It’s time to go to the monitor:

Here’s the slo-mo footage:

Here’s the slo-mo footage. It’s even closer than I thought pic.twitter.com/Ztu4XSHJkF

— Kyle Pagan (@CBKylePagan) March 30, 2024

It’s not a tie. Don’t get me wrong it’s close, but to call this a tie is disrespectful to GHGDGT guy’s resume. The powder blue big hoss is just another notch on his belt.

This battle all came down to prep. The big hoss doesn’t look like he’s a rookie to the chugging game whatsoever, but when you’re going up against the GOAT you have to be on top of everything. The snap is GDGHGT guy’s finishing move. Stone Cold has the Stunner. GDGHGT has the snap. It’s effective especially in this situation.  It’s like that last second lunge when a runner is coming to the finish line. Look at them side by side. As GDGHGT guy is starting his snap the big hoss is bringing his head down for the finish. That’s where he went wrong. Lets go frame by frame:

Here is where GDGHGT guy breaks suction. Big hoss is still lips on can:

A win and loss in the chugging game is separated by a mere mili-seconds. If the big hoss grabs the last drop and immediately removes it I think we’re talking about a different result. But since he didn’t I have to give it to the GOAT. This is why film is so important. The greats study their opponents to identify a crack in the armor. Some copy their idols and use it to enhance their own game (Kobe and MJ). It’s what separates the mere mortals from the drinking greats. GDGHGT guy just showed you why he’s one of them.

I love that we’re not even two games into the season and this guy is cleaning up. Just an amazing tailgating legend:

 

P.S. I love this guy. He knew he was watching two titans duel:  

Same energy:

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