Pretzel Sold at FedExField is Stiffer than Carson Wentz in the Pocket

You gotta hand it to the Commies organization, they are consistent. They suck on the field and off the field:

What’s worse? The commanders starting Wentz or FedEx selling me a rock pretzel? pic.twitter.com/N4r4NaWUsH

— Ash (@itscardiv) January 1, 2023

According to the person who posted this, they went to go exchange the pretzel, but the concessions had already closed. In this case, though, there has to be some blame shifted on the Commies fan, no? This pretzel has less life than your playoff chances. God forbid someone tries to bring a sign into an NFL stadium, while the Commies can sell shanks in section 312.

Is there anything worse than getting an expired pretzel? Have you ever been in a rush at a Wawa and were forced to grab the last of the morning batch before they do the changeover to the afternoon? What a terrible feeling. You could knock someone out with one of those things.

If I’m a Commies fan, I’d like to think of this as one last fuck you (you hope) from Dan Snyder to the fans. You almost have to smile a little as you remember the good times. Like the time Snyder sold expired airplane peanuts. Or that other time he sold expired World Cup beer. The good news is you can eat all of the pretzels you want from your couch in January as you watch the rest of the NFC East in the playoffs.

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