Philadelphia is Experiencing a Snow Drought… Let’s Keep the Streak Alive!

We could hit a snow-related record by this time next week, via Isaac Avilucea at Axios Philadelphia:

The city is nearing the latest date ever to record its first “measurable” snowfall of the season, says Lauren Casey, a Philly-based meteorologist at Climate Central. The previous record is Feb. 3, 1995, she tells Axios.

Philly usually has its first measurable snowfall by mid-December, and averages about 23.1 inches each year, so this drought is “highly unusual,” Casey says. Philadelphia’s last snowless winter was in 1972-73.

If that fucking groundhog picks six more weeks of winter next Thursday we know he’s a fraud. It’s gonna be 51° for the NFC Championship game. We’ve had more winter rain then I can ever remember. Spring is right around the corner. Phil better predict it or he may end up like Staten Island Chuck after Bill de Blasio murdered him:

Listen, if global warming is doing one thing right, it’s less snow in the winter. Snow in the city is fun for like 24 hours then it just becomes a black mound piled up on street corners and parking blows because people would rather call an Uber or walk instead of shoveling themselves out. The best part of snow is the snow day. Do we even get snow days anymore? Is this the last generation of snow days? No more putting spoons under your pillow or wearing your pajamas inside out. Grab the laptop, you’ve got language arts at 9 a.m. no matter what the forecast.

If we’re not having snow days anymore then there is no point of having snow. Let’s keep the streak alive! No snow for the first time in Philadelphia since 1972. Can’t believe there is a drought in this city longer than the Flyers hoisting the Cup.

P.S. I’d argue the snow day in the city as an adult is just as fun as a kid. You go sledding on the Art Museum steps or Lemon Hill or wherever you go and then instead of grabbing hot chocolate you head to the corner bar and get blitzed on a random Tuesday at noon. Everyone is happy. That is Pax Americana.

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