Governor Shapiro Has Something Up His Sleeve For the First Person to Cross the Temporary I-95 Bridge This Weekend

Governor Shapiro continues to put a beat down on these press conference updates for I-95. It’s night and day when you listen to him and Jim Kenney. You watch Kenney read a prepared statement someone wrote for him with the excitement of root canal and then watch Shapiro bob and weave through media questions like Jewhammad Ali. Things are going so well random union guys are even giving Kenney some due:

Things are going so well with I-95 even Jim Kenney is getting props from randoms pic.twitter.com/imQWBkImbk

— Kyle (@kylepaganCB) June 20, 2023

 

This dude is throwing a perfect game right now and chatting with everyone about it in the dugout. And he’s got one more surprise up his sleeve:

The Gov has something up his sleeve for the first driver over the I-95 temporary bridge. Who is it going to be? pic.twitter.com/ZBbAU7BV21

— Kyle (@kylepaganCB) June 20, 2023

Who’s it going to be? Lets look at some of the early favorites:

Sharice and @Yomemo03 from TikTok 5/1

@yomemo03

♬ original sound – YO MEMO

THREE DAYS! BUCKLEY AND COMPANY! BUCKLEY AND COMPANY! THREE DAYS!

The only people who are feeling themselves more than The Gov are the boys and girls working down at the site. They are reading their press clippings and they are letting all of the naysayers know that they heard them talking shit.

THREE DAYS! BUCKLEY AND COMPANY!

 

The Philly Captain 10/1

Bridesburg’s finest. He’s covered the fallout of the I-95 collapse with the grace of a young Edward R. Murrow covering a London Blitzkrieg. His thick Hoagie Mouth accent layers perfectly into the scenes of traffic and chaos.

Honestly, the only reason his odds aren’t higher is because the Phillies are home this weekend and he doesn’t want to miss a game.

 

Swiss Cheese Pervert 15/1

The guy is from Mayfair. The guy loves a little risk in a car. One thing you gotta think about is the potential of the bridge going down when the first car goes over. If you have to risk anyone’s life the Swiss Cheese Pervert’s isn’t a total waste to society.

 

Josh Huff and Jahlil Okafor 30/1:

Two guys that have some history driving fast on a bridge. Let these two gun it and just go. Chances are if the bridge collapses they’ll still make it since they’re going faster than a DeLorean.

*Just hope Huff leaves the hollow point bullets at home.

 

Nathan Moody’s family 15/1

Nathan Moody was the driver who unfortunately lost his life in the crash that started everything. I don’t know how everyone feels about the guy, but anyone that has driven around that bend coming off the highway, knows it wasn’t perfectly engineered. It was a freak accident that unfortunately had major consequences. I think it’d be a pretty cool show of solidarity and support to the family and his children if they were one of the first to cross over. Maybe they’ll save that for when the real opening of I-95 happens. Farther down the line when their husband, father, and son’s death isn’t so fresh in their minds.

 

Some mascot 2/1: 

This is probably the safest bet. Like taking American Pharaoh in the Derby. Trot out Gritty, the Phanatic, or Swoop and let the furries go nuts. It’s not the sexy 20/1 long shot, but it’s family friendly and just cool enough to get some social engagement.

 

 

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