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Here’s Everything You Wanted to Know About the LIV Golf League, but Didn’t Feel Like Researching

June 8, 2022
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Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you probably have seen the LIV Golf League pop up on your timeline.

LIV is financially backed by the Saudis and their $600 billion Public Investment Fund. The name of the league comes from the roman numeral for 54, which is the amount of holes they’ll be playing during LIV tournaments. The CEO of LIV is Hall of Famer and two-time major champion Greg Norman, who is also the creator of your dad’s favorite polo shirt. In typical Saudi fashion, they are throwing money at everyone and everything. Phil Mickelson was the first major golfer to join, reportedly being offered around $200 million. You probably remember Phil’s all time “he had us in the first half” quote to Alan Shipnuck who was writing a book:

“They’re scary motherfuckers to get involved with,” he said. “We know they killed [Washington Post reporter and U.S. resident Jamal] Khashoggi and have a horrible record on human rights. They execute people over there for being gay. Knowing all of this, why would I even consider it? Because this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to reshape how the PGA Tour operates. They’ve been able to get by with manipulative, coercive, strong-arm tactics because we, the players, had no recourse. As nice a guy as [PGA Tour commissioner Jay Monahan] comes across as, unless you have leverage, he won’t do what’s right. And the Saudi money has finally given us that leverage. I’m not sure I even want [the SGL] to succeed, but just the idea of it is allowing us to get things done with the [PGA] Tour.”

Tiger Woods was offered “a mind blowingly enormous high nine figures” to play in the league, but turned it down. Dustin Johnson, the best player on the tour, is making $125 million to tee it up. That’s more than Tiger Woods has made in career earnings.

Johnson today announced his resignation from the PGA Tour:

Though he can’t play in the Ryder Cup, he can still play in major tournaments because those are run by different governing bodies. The USGA already said they won’t bar anyone participating in this weekend’s LIV London event from playing in the U.S. Open next week:

One term you will see in every story involving LIV is “sportswashing,” which Wikipedia describes as:

“The practice of an individual, group, corporation, or government using sport to improve their tarnished reputation, through hosting a sporting event, the purchase or sponsorship of sporting teams, or by participation in the sport itself.”

It’d be like Mayor Kenney announcing that Philly is getting a WNBA team this week to take some heat off the South Street shooting. I think a lot more people would respect these guys’ decisions if they just came out and said, “I’m playing because I’m setting my family up for multiple generations.” –

The format of the league will be:

“The 54-hole tournaments will have no cut and will feature 48 players drafted into 12 four-man teams, with shotgun starts. The first seven events will have $20 million purses with an additional $5 million split among the top three teams each week; a team championship concludes the schedule with a $30 million on offer to the top three players and an additional $50 million in team prizes.”

The captains for the league include DJ, Mickelson, Ian Poulter, Kevin Na, and more. Dustin Johnson’s team sounds like a bad Quizzo name while Wade Ormsby and Shiwan Kim named their teams after a 1960s Batman fight scene:

The Saudis should’ve saved some of the $22 million they gave to Poulter so they could pay the graphic designers:

The first press conference about the league was today. You’d think a league backed by the Saudis who already have a history of questionable human rights and media abuses would want to polish this turd. Whoops! –

I’m sure they just wanted to take Rob Harris to a nice 5 star hotel in London for lunch. UPDATE: Rob’s alive…for now:

 

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