50 Hot Takes for the Philadelphia Sports Fan: Happy Holidays Edition

“Hey Griswold, where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?”

“Bend over and I’ll show ya!”

It’s Christmas Eve in the Delaware Valley and our gift to you is another installment of the critically acclaimed, award-winning 50 Hot Takes column.

1. The entire sports world needs to band together in a boycott of Josina Anderson.
2. Let’s leave the meteorologists alone. Predicting the weather is not an exact science. They are doing their best.
3. You can leave your Christmas decorations up until Valentine’s Day.
4. Qdoba is better than Chipotle.
5. You should be visible in your Facebook or Twitter profile picture. It’s not your dog’s account, or you kids’ account.
6. Too many people at the grocery store are totally oblivious. Just bumbling around aimlessly.
7. Don’t you dare bring a full shopping cart into the self-checkout aisle.
8. You should only be allowed to have a conversation with a cashier if you’re the only person in line. If there are people waiting behind you, no conversation.
9. In the suburbs, nothing seems to match the level of excitement that people receive from redeeming their points for the Thanksgiving turkey or Christmas ham.
10. If you are an able-bodied man between the ages of 16 and 50, you should volunteer to shovel and/or snow blow your neighbor’s driveway.
11. Christmas Vacation is the best Christmas movie, by far. It’s not even close.
12. The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup.
13. I’m a failure because I was unable to secure an interview with Joe Cordell, of Cordell and Cordell. I tried multiple times and just couldn’t get him to commit. (but that’s okay)
14. Allen Iverson’s game would be a terrible fit for the contemporary NBA.
15. The best front office in town belongs to the Philadelphia Union.
16. Howie Roseman should go before Doug Pederson goes.
17. The best podcast in this region is Snow the Goalie.
18. The suburban shopping mall will never die. It will survive the pandemic.
19. The Mandalorian is fantastic. Highly recommended.
20. In no world should athletes get the COVID vaccination before regular people, who are doing essential jobs.
21. You don’t always have to have a sports take.
22. There’s no “War on Christmas.” People are just trying to tell you that not everybody celebrates the holiday. They aren’t trying to take Christmas away from you.
23. Bravo is 99% trash, but you have to respect Andy Cohen’s hustle. The guy has created an entertainment empire.
24. The good thing about not being able to find a Playstation 5 is that we can lead productive lives in the meantime.
25. COVID-19 is an intriguing sociological revelation in how selfish people can be.
26. The elliptical is superior to the treadmill and bike.
27. The college football playoff needs to be expanded to eight teams.
28. Autobiography is the best reading choice.
29. Smart phones, texting, and the internet have made us really awful in-person communicators. I feel like a lot of younger people struggle when it comes to basic human interaction because they’re growing up glued to screens.
30. Whomever runs the Chic-fil-A drive-through should have an important position in the federal government.
31. With Trump soon to exit the White House, what will sports writers complain about on Twitter?
32. You should have to pass an IQ test before calling Philadelphia sports radio.
33. Alshon Jeffery is playing better but still needs to take a hike.
34. I hope Carson Wentz goes to Indy and tears it up.
35. You can like Wentz, Nick Foles, and Jalen Hurts at the same time!
36. This Sixers team is basically a more experienced version of the 2017 squad.
37. The organization of the British Isles is dumb. You’ve got five different countries in England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. Four of those countries make up the “United Kingdom,” but Ireland is not included. Then you’ve got “Great Britain,” which is just England, Scotland, and Wales. Ireland uses the Euro for their currency, but the UK has their own system. You can’t expect the average American to keep this all straight. We’re terrible with geography anyway.
38. British food is horrendous.
39. There’s too much self-importance in the sports media.
40. The best winter beers in this region are brewed at Free Will, up in Perkasie.
41. It’s a travesty that Philly continues to take trash and recycling and just dump them into the same trucks. A total waste.
42. All high schools should replace their economics class with a different course. Teenagers don’t need to know about Adam Smith and the “Invisible Hand,” they need to learn about stocks, bonds, taxes, and practical financial items.
43. My uncle, who is an architect, says “caulk isn’t worth shit.”
44. Sometimes you’re just having a bad day. It doesn’t mean you’re “depressed.”
45. The $600 stimulus check debacle should be final proof that both political parties are useless.
46. The white cheddar macaroni and cheese is the best variety. You put the crumb topping on it and <chef’s kiss>
47. Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia is a banger. It’s just a throwback 1970s disco album.
48. James Franklin isn’t taking Penn State to the next level. That relationship has been maxed out.
49. A lot of dumb things were said in 2020, but the dumbest was when Mayor Kenney asked people to stop doing home improvement projects because it was creating a lot of household waste. Huh? People are stuck at home, what the hell do you expect them to do?
50. Nothing wrong with a Hotmail or AOL email address. It means you’re an O.G.

Everybody enjoy the holidays and enjoy your time off from work, school, and the Philadelphia Eagles.

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